I Don’t Need To…

I don’t need to ask the question…

I can’t tell you how many times I have avoided asking questions. I was so good at doing it that I didn’t even know I was avoiding something. I clung to countless pieces of untrue proof that protected me from having to ask the direct question.

Instead of saying “I don’t need to ask…”, I should have been saying:

I don’t want to ….

• Know the answer

• Hear the decision

• Let go of it

• Make the change

• Encounter failure

• Get hurt again

• Open up and remove barriers

I am sure we all have more things we could add to that list.

It was the fear of the outcome of each question that was keeping me from asking what deep down I knew I should ask.

Here is the biggest problem with avoiding asking a question:

It allows us to live in a false reality for longer than we need to. It can most times cause us to live in the actual fear we are most fearful of.

Because here is the truth:

Living out of an assumption instead of proof, isn’t real.

And the longer you are in that state, the more likely that the story you have built up will lead you to more pain and hurt.

Wait, I thought I was avoiding pain and hurt by not asking the question?

Yeah, I know, me too.

But, it turns out that avoiding finding out the truth creates more potential pain and hurt in the long term than the short term pain or disappointment we might feel if we encounter the truth quicker.

And I am not just talking about negative outcomes. Think about how many times you have avoiding something in fear of a negative outcome, but really the outcome was good. Avoiding the good outcome does more harm to the health of your body than needed to happen. Living in fear based stress for no reason.

I’ll tell you a little secret….

I am currently avoiding a question as I write this blog.

But I will show you the difference between how I used to operate and how I do now.

I used to pretend that I didn’t have to ask that question, that I didn’t need to. I used to lie to myself about what was happening and that I wasn’t avoiding anything. I used to live out of assumption instead of proof by proof, fact by fact.

But now I know exactly what I am doing. I know exactly what I am trying to avoid. And I know that by not asking, I am still not getting what I want.

I have nothing to lose because in the unknown is not where I want to live. I don’t want to live in a false reality. I want to live in the here and the now, so that I can truly move forward to the place I want to be.

That means the only way to move forward, is to ask. And I don’t mean ask in a roundabout way, that leads more room for confusion. I mean to ask in a very direct way that gives me the most clear answer I can get to make a logical decision to move forward. Despite the fear, despite the outcome I might not want. Because, as I said before, what if the outcome is good and this whole time I was avoiding it for nothing?

I am in control of my future. And so are YOU.

Identify the fear. Feel it. Say you don’t want to do it. Sit in that reality.

AND then, together, let’s move through it. Let’s live in the truth.

xx, Danielle

PS. Did this resonate with you?

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