Guilt is Paralyzing

Have you ever done something wrong and you start to feel the guilt takeover your actions?

Either you wronged someone or you wronged yourself.

I tend to feel it when I know I was supposed to do something and I didn’t.

Or when I react in a way I know wasn’t right or a good representation of my values.

And when the rush of guilt comes over me, I start to feel paralyzed.

This paralyzing feeling often causes me to further do things that are against my desires, wants, or values.

Here are some examples of how guilt can be manifested:

• Not admitting wrongdoing due to fear

• Giving up

• Over-apologizing

• People pleasing

• Avoiding conversations

• Shrinking back from your potential

• Placing blame on others or circumstances

• Lack of ownership due to pride

What are some things that guilt does to your forward motion?

I want to share something with you that I teach my clients and that has been a game changer for me.

Guilt is an okay feeling to feel. It is actually healthy and a good indicator for us for change. But when guilt turns to shame, that is when things get dangerous.

In fact, when we start reacting in such ways as I described above, we have turned a healthy guilty feeling into shame.

What’s the difference between guilt and shame?

Guilt: The feeling you get when you did something wrong or perceive you did something wrong

Shame: Feeling that your whole self is wrong - “I am bad”

In society, we have mixed these 2 emotions into one and that is very dangerous.

It is SO important for us to start to recognIze when we allow a mistake we have made turn into a character defining moment. When we start to believe we are bad then shame takes over, and we act in ways that are not true to ourselves.

We say things and do things out of the feeling of shame that puts us against each other, rather than bringing us together in support, love, comfort and safety.

Just last week, I allowed some guilt I was feeling about goals start to leak over into shame. I was feeling so deeply upset with myself that I had slowly allowed it to be who I was instead of something i did. This is where I get paralyzed. And this is where I start to self-sabotage.

BUT I caught it. AND I want to help you catch it too.

Start to listen to the voice you are speaking to yourself with. And start watching the actions you are taking or not taking. These are clear indicators as to when shame has started to take over. When it starts to become about who you are and what you are capable of then you know you have let shame in.

Whatever you have been waiting to do or whatever action you haven’t taken, don’t let shame stop you from forward motion or change.

You are so capable and you are not a bad person because of a mistake you make or setback you have.

Here is the cool part - shame reduces as we speak it out loud.

So send me a message on IG @daniellegonzales OR via email dgonzales.uru@gmail.com and let me know what you have been feeling shameful about. Just the act of speaking it out loud will start to kill it and set you free.

AND if you really want to make some change come join me and others for the 4th Quarter Challenge. Together, we are releasing shame around goals and going after one of them full force to end the year strong! Link to Join

xxx Danielle