Comparison is a Thief
I decided to try an experiment a couple years back.
As I walked the street, ran errands, went to the gym, and looked on social media I decided to become aware of how many times my thoughts were consumed with other individuals.
What stories was I making up about them?
What fantasy was I making up about their character, emotions, struggles, abilities, finances, relationships?
And what were these images and assumptions saying about me? Were these images putting me down? Were they lifting me to an unfair standard or higher pedestal?
A really quick and simple example of how this manifested for me in the experiment was, when I was out running, I noticed myself having two different types of thoughts.
When I stopped running before someone else did around me, I noticed myself think they are so good at running and they are better than me. I would paint a picture of them running so many miles and going for so far.
While I was running past someone who just stopped running, I noticed myself feel a sense of pride and honor come through my body or mind, like I was better at running and had more stamina
Here is the truth about both those scenarios, I had NO idea how far any of these people had been running. Had they just stopped because they had ran 10 miles? Were they still running past me because they just started? Are they doing intervals like me? Have they been running their whole life? Was today their first day?
I had ZERO answers, yet in a split second during my run, I was making up all sorts of scenarios and meanings. And none of these thoughts were helping me. They were robbing me of my own personal journey and experience.
Now, that is a very small example, but if on something small like that I am unknowingly letting comparison rob me, how much was I doing it in big areas of my life?
Comparison robs of us from living in the present and real reality.
Here are two ways comparison can be accomplished:
We compare ourselves to unattainable fantasies of those around us. Thinking that if we had what they had then we would be xyz. In reality though do we know if what we think they have is real? Do we know if we had what they had wold we be happy? Do we really know if they are happy?
We compare our current reality, moments and ourselves, to past memories and experiences. We try to recreate past moments, instead of seeing what this new time in our life is giving us and showing us. Comparison in this way robs us from allowing in new things that may be better but appear different.
Whenever I catch myself slide into comparison I:
ask myself what I know for sure is true
ask myself if what they have or what I used to have is what I really want
ask why I think I can’t have what they have or what I had in the past
ask what that thought is making me feel and how it is keeping me from actively pursuing what I want because it is putting me down and boxing me in
I encourage you as you walk through the next few days to get really honest with yourself. Introspectiveness in this way takes brutal honesty and awareness. You have to be willing to be okay that you may be thinking things you don’t think are good. That is OKAY! Comparison is normal. You are not bad for thinking things. Try to release the shame so that you can become aware of how you need to switch your mind and stop letting comparison rob you.
Scrolling through social media doesn’t have to be a place where comparison exists. It only exists if we allow it to exist.
Start taking control of your thoughts and your reality.
xxx Danielle
If you wish to dig in deeper to these thoughts and join in on community send me an email @ dgonzales.uru@gmail.com or DM me on instagram @daniellegonzales
